If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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