Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
