i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
4 words: hood of his car
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
