nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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