so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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