so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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