what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
