They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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