Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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