I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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