Already got asked if we're dating
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
