I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's the barista slut.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
