why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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