It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
