It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
