Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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