He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
