no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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