Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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