can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Someone shit on the floor
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize