But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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