so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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