just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
