Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
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