Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how do flat chested girls get laid?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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