i just wanna soil my oats bro
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
