She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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