i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
