He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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