Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
