you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
