If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
