Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
