Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
