sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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