so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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