Who wears a wallet chain?!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
