I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
