Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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