just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
