youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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