Sry I called you an 8
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
