white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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