Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Randomize
