I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
