OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
