Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
