the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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