is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
