wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
