So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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