apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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