how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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