I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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