There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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