how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize