dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize