"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
