do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
two words...techno handjob
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
